Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.