Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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They say if u talk shit about Chuck Norris he will slam ur face into the keyboard but he's to dumb to find me jdjdjddjdjfbfnfmapoibrndskdhsnjsjrrjwiaokdbdjaaksjdbjs this is Chuck Norris let that be a lesson.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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