Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.