Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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