Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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