Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.