Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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