Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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