Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc.
The Black and Blueray.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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