Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris's Blood Can't be matched...
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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