Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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