Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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