When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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