When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes."
Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
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