Joke #6977

When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.

2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.

Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.

Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.

Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid

The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.