When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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