When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.