Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
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