In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.