How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
It raises a stink.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together.
Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles.
One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home."
The next day, they come to work on a donkey.
After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence.
"I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde.
"I'm not convinced that's our donkey."
"Why not?" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
A: Fiddler on the hoof.
What is the most famous shark?
William Sharkspeare.