Joke #10576

How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?" "A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here." Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
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has 74.00 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, kids
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
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has 80.59 % from 5628 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, love, sex
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What's a rabbits favorite book? Hop on Pop.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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has 72.78 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist