How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
Why is a reindeer like a gossip? Because they are both tail bearers.
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."