How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
It raises a stink.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.
During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges.
That's why we have the camel,sir."
"The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent .
Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir," the First Sergeant replies.
"They usually just ride the camel into town."
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it's kangaroo!
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What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.