Joke #4231

Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano? His undertaker. Golf

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"

The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own. "No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened." After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3. "What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!" Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."

While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"

What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.

A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.

Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop