You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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If there's something strange...
In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?...
CHUCK NORRIS!
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