Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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WikiLeaks are just Chuck Norris' Thoughts.
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