Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf.
When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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