Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?
A: "Cheap, cheap!"
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A man goes to a party and has too much to drink.
His friends plead with him to let them take him home.
He says no -- he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area.
The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.
When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door.
They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes.
They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.
The police have his driver's license.
They ask to see his car and she asks why.
They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
Why do police dogs lick their balls?
To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat?
A: The inside.
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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