They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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