They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.