Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.