Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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