Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous
The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.