Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.