Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.