Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.