Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.