Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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