Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
The reason why the desert is dry is because Chuck Norris got thirsty.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."