Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.
When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
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Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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