Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don’t stop fooling around, we won’t bring you next time."
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech? A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me." Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?" Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. Basketball
Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"