Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
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Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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