Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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