Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke.
The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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