If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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