Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.