Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris round house kicked the xbox and made the xbox 360.
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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