Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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He opens the door then turns the handle.
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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