Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.