Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security