Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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Chuck Norris tried juggling once... and now we have our solar system.
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A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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