Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.