Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
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Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc.
The Black and Blueray.
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