Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Once Chuck Norris attempted to punch through a brick wall, but the brick wall crumbled in fear.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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