Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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