Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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