Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Once an email was sent from LA to Washington.
Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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