Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
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Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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