Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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