Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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In Radiant Spirits, Solari's body temprature is 120 degrees.
Chuck Norris's body temprature is about 151 degrees.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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