Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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