Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
Chuck Norris round house kicked the xbox and made the xbox 360.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris. It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.