Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.