Joke #9436

Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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