Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything?
Chuck Norris.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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