Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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