Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it.
Dissapointed, he then walked out.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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