Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!"
When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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