Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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