When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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