Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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