Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."