Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
If there's something strange... In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?... CHUCK NORRIS!
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"