Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.
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Chuck Norris once appeared on celebrity wipeout.
They had to end the season after he destroyed the sucker punch wall with his chin.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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