Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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