Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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