Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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