Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
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After Chuck Norris created Jazz he decided to do a bit of scat, today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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