Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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