Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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