Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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