Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays.
Happy Chuckday everyone!
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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