Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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