Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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If there's something strange...
In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?...
CHUCK NORRIS!
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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... With a stick.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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