Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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I challenged Chuck Norris once.
He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space.
Now I read the facts from Mars.
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Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn...
Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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