Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance. He breaks dance
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.