Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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