Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.
Forever.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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