Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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