Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.