When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris is a hunter.
But Chuck Norris does not hunt.
That implies the possibility of failure.
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Some people like to eat frogs' legs.
Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs.
Hence, snakes.
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