When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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