Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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