When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
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The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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