When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris. His voice is still up there today.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.