When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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