When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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