When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Where was your mom last night? At Chuck Norris' place.
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you. On facebook!