When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
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