When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
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When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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