When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
How did Stella get her groove back? Permission from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.