They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.