Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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