Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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