Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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Chuck Norris does not have to "Fight for his right to Party".
Parties have to fight for their right to Chuck Norris.
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