Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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