Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
They say terror? Look at Chuck.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.