Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.