When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.