When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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