When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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