Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.