Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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