All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.