Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game...
While using a golf ball.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Someone asked Chuck Norris to climb Mount Everest.
After his 10th endeavor, he wrote a book.
"Ten Different Ways to Climb Mount Everest"
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Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
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