Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.