Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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