Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.