Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same.
Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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