Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.